Communicate To Win
learn how to listen I hope you find this article informative and helpful. May I Thank you for taking your time to examine this site. If you have any further questions please feel free to email me wayne@colemanglobalgroup.com.
Every individual wants to communicate effectively. Every individual want to communicate to win! You could be a student, a business person, a stay at home mom, single or married , young or old you need to communicate effectively, you need to communicate to win. Perhaps one of the greatest complaints from parents, bosses or any person is, " Did you not hear Me"? Friendship are broken, marriages are destroyed, and mostly likely due to poor communicating. Being misunderstood or misunderstanding. There is a difference between speaking and communicating. Remember the last argument you had. Most likely the argument arose over poor communication, over misunderstanding. We need to Communicate To Win, Communicate effectively and we can only do that if we,
1. know how to listen. Our fast paced society bombards us with so much that we do not hear correctly. Our minds are filled with so much that we only hear partially, and fill in the rest with what we think we heard. There is a story I like to tell, it was when I was a boy in grade school. The teacher would go to the first person in the row and speak something into the students ear, and ask that student to do the same until every student received the message or a message. What happened was strange, the message was altered. The lesson to be learned was that you may not always hear what you think you have heard. If that premises is correct, then what we need to do is acknowledge that a major problem in today,s society is that we do not hear correctly. What we can do to correct this problem is REPEAT BACK what has been said to us. When we repeat back what has been said, we are making sure what we thought we heard, and doing so setting the stage to listen. We do not need to repeat word for word, but summarize to the other person what we think they said. For example, so you want me to do....
2. We need to understand were the other person is speaking from. like the old saying goes, do not judge until you have walked a mile in the others shoes. Even if we think we hear what we heard, then the problem arises is that do we truly understand of what is being said. People speak not with only words, but body language, and tone. Both body language and tone can put some one on defense, or acceptable to what is being said. One sentence said with a different body language and tone will change how we receive it. For example, Tom tells his wife Jean that he is going golfing with Joe. Jean remembers that Tom has been golfing three times this week, and has not taken her any where. She feels that Tom is willing to spend any amount of time with his friend Joe, but when she ask him to do something with here well he won’t, or puts up some fuss. Jean has this stern look on her face and stiffens her boy and raises her tone, and says, "You going Golfing Again!" Before you know it there is an argument. We need to understand were the other person is coming from. We need to try to put ourselves in the other persons shoes. Often when people speak a lot has gone on in their lives. I will give you an example. Basil had a bad day at the office, and when he got home he was quiet. He did not greet his wife like he normally does. His wife Susan, had a trying day her self. She remembered that Basil and her had a few words last night and now sees that he is quiet assumes that he is still mad at her, but that is further from the truth. Both parties have other things on their minds. When we talk we must learn to put her self in the others place. We must try to see through eyes.
Finally we need to take time digest the days activities. Time To Relax. Meditation is a way to relax and can be powerful tool that can help us get in tune with our self and things around us. We need to take a few minutes each day sitting in a quiet place and listen to our hearts beat, hear our breathing, quieting our minds. If we do these three simple steps, Learn to listen by repeating back what we have heard, Learn to understand, by giving the other person the benefit, of what they are saying. We need to learn to relax by mediating. If we do these three simple steps for two months, you will discover a whole new word. You will here things you never hear. You will see thing in a different light. And perhaps the most important thing of all is that you will discover a new you. You will discover that when you listen you really hear and then you can speak effectively and when you speak effectively you communicate to win. learn
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