family tips
learn how to listenYou do Not understand me! Things are different now! Were just different! These are put a few of the comments that children, especially teenagers say to their parents. With the advancement in technology, and our fast paced society the days that our grandparents experinced is totally different then what our children of this century is facing. Families no longer eat meals together. Most families have two working parents, one child may be off to hockey practice, another to something else, so between trying to do all that is required as parents today there seems little time for oneself, little time for each other and of course no time as a family unit. One parent family is even more trying and have even less time.
Because of everyones busy schedule, often times together can be more of a battle ground of not understanding one another then any enjoyment of being together. As I read the comments of one mom who said," it may be difficult scheduling everything, but being together as a family is even more trying..."You see, fighting, arguing is common denominator that most families face today. This denominator is there between parents and children, and between parents.
Because of our fast paced society our diets are more then often suffering. Statistics tells us the US and Canadain populations are getting more overweight. I am not going to try to convince you that this brief article has all your answers. That would be presumptuous on my part. What I do, however, want to present to you four poinst to consider, and perhaps by doing so your family dynamics will change.
1. Try to enter the conversation with your teenger and for that matter your partner with positive attitude. If we realize it or not we assume what the other person is going to say, why because we heard it all before. Therefore, we rush to get our point across, or we use a stronger tone hoping to convey that we are serious about this so you better hear me. If we have been doing this for awhile we most likely have learned that just does not work. We need to enter the conversation not to win, but hear what the other person is saying. You enter the converson, with the attitude, it matters to me what you are saying and what you are feeling. I call this a positive attitude, because the other person hears, hey, it really matters what I am saying. Now this brings us to the second point.
2. We need to learn to listen to the other person. The art of listening has some where been lost between the advancement of all the new technology and McDonald's. What I mean by that is we have no time to listen, get to your point! Our minds fill in the spaces before the words even come out. I had a professor who could be surrounded by a dozen students, each trying to speak or get his attention. He would look directly at the person he was in contact with, and would not vary from that person's attention until he had finished listening and speaking. He always made you feel that what you said, no matter how different was important and worth hearing. Hear what the person is saying.
3. The Art of Positive communicating. Often we say not what we mean. So often our words do not protray what we are feeling. Our tone, facial expressions say more to the person we are speaking to then we realize. Often times what we think we hear is not words but the expression of the other person. You see, the expression and tone is only partly what needs to be heard and expressed. We seem to rush everything, we need to take a deep breath and think what we are going to say and understand what we are feeling. Let me give you an example, you just came home from work and work that day did not go so great, your boss blaimed you for something that you had no control over, and you are feeling upset to say the least. You now have arrived at home and nancy comes running to you about needing some money to buy a new outfit for the school dance. You do not hear her excitment, you do not hear the words, you hear money. Your hard earned money from a place you are not even appreciated. You did not hear when she said she had longed waited to be asked out by billy, you haven't got passed what happened to you at work.What do you think your response and attitude is going to be. We need to realize that we bring all kinds of bagage into our relationships and often that can hinder us from communicating in any positive manner.
4. Finally, we need to make time for ourselves, and for our families. We need to make sure that those times, even though few as a family need to be a good experience. Perhaps, Learning to listen to each other. Learning to support each other, and most of all learning to just to be there realizing that these are the ones who really matter to you. Could all of this be one step in bringing about a healthy life style, with healthy diets and great family experiences. art of communicationParenting tips for todays family